how to tell if your too drunk to drive!

The bouncer suddenly looks really hot.
You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hi" comes out as "Wanna shag?"
You can't decide which steering wheel to use.
Your wallet has only $5 left in it, all in 10 cent pieces.
The Hell's Angel in the corner suddenly looks like a wimp.
You're dying for a Big Mac, even though you're a vegan.
Your feet are sore from dancing, and the trivia night is only half way through.
Your mouth feels all furry because you've just drunk the ash tray.
You can't remember where you parked your car.
You can't remember what sort of car you own.
You can't remember what a car looks like.
You catch yourself singing karaoke, and enjoying it.
You just spent an hour chatting up a cigarette machine.
You consider urinating in the wash basin, rather than waiting in the queue.
You urinate in the wash basin rather than waiting in the queue.
You urinate in the queue.
It's taken you an hour of yelling, a thrown drink and a knife fight to realise that you and your friend have been in total agreement all along.

http://www.gorskys.com.au/articles/too-drunk-to-drive.html